i hate to hear your name. your name makes me puke. thinking about what you have done makes me hate you even more. well, you're still doing it. no change. still the same you. same dressing. same activity. worst, same attitude. you're not a boy anymore. you're a man for goodness sake. have some mercy on those young girls, will you?

"boys just wanna have fun?" you still think you're a boy?

stop it, will you?

i am waiting for the time when someone tells me, "hey, he's married. he has changed a lot!" but most probably it won't happen cos i think you will never change.

"i would be digging my own grave if i were to go back to you." yes, those words. glad i said that.

you're much hated.

if murder is not a crime and sin, i would have killed you la!

atie, chill.

i am upset. with everything. i can't tackle him. either way, it'll be wrong. so what am i supposed to do? keep quiet. keep everything to myself. happy or unhappy. just keep it to myself. oh no, talk to them? will they ever understand my feelings or my thoughts? they have their own theories.

cos you only see the surface. cos you conclude from the surface. cos you judge by the surface.

happy. will i ever make you happy? will i ever make them happy?

you will never be happy. they will never be happy.

i can't even make myself feel happy.

i can't please everyone. i can't make everyone happy.

i am feeling the barrier.

and i feel like crying...

We went to meet Kak Rose for the first time. Spent the first few hours to talk about something out of what we were supposed to talk about. The men were talking about music. Kak Rose and myself were talking about almost everything.

Thank you, Kak Rose. For being so welcoming. We felt so comfortable and so at home.

Oh ya...She's the i dunno how many persons already who said Hafiz and I look the same. "Eh, muka u dua-dua sama, macam adik beradik! cuma Hafiz the darker version and you're the fairer version!" i wonder why no one has ever said me and bro's face look the same. padahal adik-beradik.

And Dina is super cute...

I went out with Julie. Wanted to chill out. Holidays are the only time i can catch up things with her. Went to Tampines Mall. Had a meal. Told each other about our plans. So babe, prepare the things slowly. I understand. If possible, you wanna skip the planning. Me too. So, let's help ourselves out. Let's remind each other of the things to do, shall we? I will call you if there are things that we can do together at least we won't feel bored.

The Getaway. Pls make it happen.

I can't wait for everything to end. Damn, it has not even started yet!

Went to Afah's place. the usual thing, we ate. sat at the dining table in the kitchen. so mak-mak. i still remember how my mum used to sit at the dining table in the kitchen with her friends. What was i doing then? well, i was playing with my friends in the living room of cos. everything was the same except for the missing children. so i can imagine the four of us sitting with the kids running around the house. ok tu part kena tunggu.

The guys came over. They made the place like their own place especially Haf. Sooner or later Afah, i guess they will be making their own drinks. Hafiz dah tau dah mana nak amik plastic bag.

so thank you for the company. There was never a day that you babes didn't make me smile.

love you chicas...

when i reached Cashbox, i saw them. hehe! best kan? i was so happy.

They got me a necklace with an 'A'. and that represents all of us : Atie, Ayu, Afah & Ayul.

Satu-satu melalak. yang off-key, out of tune. hentam sajalah.

Had dinner after that, Faizal came all the way down to be with all of us. i really appreciate that Faizal. Like i 've said, you are the best guy friend in my life.

That's the birthday eve! Yesterday was my birthday. so he had things planned. Brought me to eat. oh we went public! it was really nice. i got to talk to him and look at him at the same time.

After the meal, met up the chicas for a bowling session. i was forced to bowl. ceh!

Went our separate ways after that, he brought me to Haagen Daz to eat chocolate fondue- something that i've been talking about. hehe!

Amad dropped by for a while to wish me happy birthday too. so sweet of you.

sat down for a while before we made our way home. As we talked, he brought out a small box. oh god! after spending so much for the day i think, he still got me something. i was so so touched. almost cried.

Thank you so much to the man for planning my birthday over the 2 days. Thank you Faizal for doing the dirty jobs. Thank you chicas for being so cooperative with Haf. He claimed that you babes were so easy to work with. Thank you for the msgs sent by everyone. you should know who you are. i even got a birthday msg all the way from Madinah!

Many, many thanks to you, my man. Two thumbs up! I really2 appreciate it. Glad you're mine!